Make The Holidays Enjoyable for Neurodivergent Children
The holidays can be stressful, especially if you have a neurodivergent child. The noise, the lights, the crowds – it can all be overwhelming for your child. But with a little planning and preparation, you can make sure your entire family has fun and enjoys their time together this season!
Minimize Sensory Overload
Minimize sensory overload. This can be a big problem for neurodivergent kids, and it makes holiday gatherings even more challenging. Try to reduce the number of people in the room by making it smaller, or setting up specific times for visits with grandparents and other relatives. If you're hosting family events at your home, try to keep things low-key: less food and fewer decorations than normal.
Use a quiet corner to go to when you need a break from all the noise and activity. Try putting up signs that say "Quiet Zone" (or whatever words work best for your family) so people know what's going on when they see them!
Make Swaps and Adjustments
Be flexible. If you're planning your holiday activities, don't be afraid to make adjustments as needed. If your child is a picky eater or has an unpredictable sleep schedule, bring extra snacks and keep your options open!
Don't stress out about other people's plans. Your family may not be able to do everything that other families are doing, but that doesn't mean they should feel bad—and it definitely doesn't mean they should miss out on anything fun! Remember: you're the one in charge here. You can adjust your schedule so that everyone gets what they need without feeling like they're missing out on anything (or worse yet, feeling guilty).
Take breaks when necessary. It's easy for holiday stressors to build up over time; remember that everyone needs time away from their responsibilities every now and again if they want to enjoy themselves later on down the line! Try not to worry too much about missed opportunities—they'll come around again eventually!
Give your child a sense of control and appreciation.
Give your child a sense of control and appreciation.
In order to make the holidays enjoyable, you should give your child a sense of control and appreciation. Let them help plan activities, decide how they want to celebrate the holidays, decide what they want to wear, help make food or decorate the house. This gives them an opportunity to feel like they're part of something special and gives them gratitude for all that there is in their life.
Avoid meltdowns.
For example, if your child is sensitive to noise and lights, it may be best to avoid shopping centers or large crowds. If they're easily overstimulated by touch and textures, avoid crowded clothing stores or even big box stores in general. If they tend to get overstimulated by certain types of food, try not to force them to participate in potlucks or holiday dinners where there will be foods that make them uncomfortable.
The goal here is to give your child an environment where they can actually enjoy the holidays without feeling overwhelmed by too much stimulation from their senses and/or other people.
Prioritize What Your Child Likes
If you have a neurodivergent child, it can be helpful to know what they like. This will help you make more decisions about how to spend the holidays with them in mind.
To start, think about what your child likes:
What are their interests? Are there certain things that they enjoy doing? Do they have certain preferences when it comes to food or activities?
What are their favourite foods? You might not be able to accommodate every preference, but if possible, try to find something that is close enough for them in case they ask for it specifically.
What are their favourite activities? It's important that your child feels welcome and accepted at any event you attend or host during the holiday season—including those hosted by friends and family members who might not understand all of the challenges faced by neurodivergent people.
Talk to your child about the holidays ahead of time.
Talk to your child about the holidays ahead of time. This will give them ample time to process their feelings and ask any questions they may have.
Be patient when answering questions and don’t rush the conversation. Remember that this is a new experience for your child and they might not be sure what they like or dislike at first.
If possible, schedule a trip out of town during the holiday season so you can avoid crowds, noise, and stress if it’s difficult for your child in these situations.
Create a safe space for your child so they can retreat from the chaos if needed.
It's important to create a safe space for your child so they can retreat from the chaos if needed. This could be a quiet room or bedroom, or even a sensory room (if you are lucky enough to have one!).
It could also be an area where your child can play with their toys without needing to interact with others or feel as though they are being rushed away from their comfort zone.
A safe place could also be somewhere that allows them to just sit and read, or even colour quietly by themselves.
Set up a sensory zone for the kids with low-key activities
A sensory zone is a space that is dedicated to quiet activities and play. It might be an area of your home or an entire room. A good general rule for setting up a sensory zone is to make sure that there are no other distractions in the room. This means that if you want to use this space as a place where kids can do homework, then it should be free from other distractions like televisions or computers.
You can plan out different activities for different days of the week so you don't get bored, but here are some ideas:
Playdough
Puzzles and mazes
Colouring books with crayons and markers (these must be low stimulation!)
Lego bricks/blocks
Books
If you have access to any kind of therapy dog, bring them along!
Make sure everyone has a job to do.
As you're planning your big holiday dinner, make sure everyone has a job to do. Make sure your children can contribute in some way and help out. If they're too young to help in the kitchen, they can be in charge of setting the table or cleaning up after dinner. It's important that everyone feel like they're contributing, even if it's just by running upstairs to bring back a forgotten item or offering to clear dishes before dessert is served! The less of an imposition you make on someone with autism or sensory issues during the holidays, the easier things will go for them—and for you!
Make sure your child knows that whatever their role at this year's gathering may be (setting tables or cleaning up), there will always be something for them to do. This is one way you can increase confidence and self-esteem while also teaching responsibility.
Choose the traditions you want to keep.
There are many traditions that may be difficult to keep with a neurodivergent child. For example, a family’s annual holiday party might be too loud and crowded for your child. Or perhaps you can’t afford any gifts this year because of medical bills.
It is important to honour the traditions you want to keep, but if it is not possible for you to continue those traditions in their original form, consider finding new ways of integrating them into your life. For example, instead of hosting an elaborate party at home every year, why not invite friends over on Christmas Eve? Instead of exchanging gifts at Christmas time or on birthdays—or even just spending time together as a family—you could create special activities (like baking cookies or building snowmen) together as an alternative way to celebrate the holidays.
If none of these ideas work and there is still no way around the fact that certain rituals will cause harm or stress for your neurodivergent child, then it might be best not to force them upon her/him during this stressful time of year!
Don’t force-feed holiday foods.
Holiday food is a sensory experience. For example, the smell of cinnamon may be overwhelming for some children who don’t like it or can’t tolerate how it makes their bodies feel. Instead of forcing your child to eat something they don’t want, let your child skip a meal and focus on enjoying the rest of the day with them. If you know they won't eat anything because they're picky eaters or have sensory issues with certain foods (such as dairy), let them have what they are comfortable with during holiday meals instead of making them try something new just for appearance's sake!
The holidays can be fun, even for neurodivergent children.
The holidays are a big time for family gatherings and sharing. They can also be a stressful time, with lots of people in one place. The holidays can also be a great opportunity to bond with your child. As parents, we want our children to understand the value of giving and helping others—and if they don't have an easy way to do this, then give them an opportunity!
Be Gentle With Yourself and Your Child
The holidays can be a stressful time for everyone, including those on the autism spectrum. It’s a good idea to take a break if you need it—and don’t feel bad about it! If you are feeling stressed, your child will pick up on that and become stressed as well. They may start acting out or being difficult towards others, which can make things worse for everyone around them.
Be gentle with yourself and your child. You’re doing the best that you can under difficult circumstances; your child is doing their best as well!
Conclusion
The holidays should be about joy and celebration but are often stressful for families, and they can be especially so for neurodivergent children. You can make your child's holiday season a little less stressful by making sure there's plenty of time set aside just for them, and by keeping in mind that repetition and routine are important to anyone with Autism Spectrum Disorder or other conditions. Remember that being able to enjoy the holidays doesn't have to mean spending a lot of money on gifts—it's more about being together as a family.
Additional Resources
Enjoying the Holidays With Your Autistic Child
It’s a Wonderful Life: Autism and the Holidays
Autism and the Holidays: Reflections
Make the Holidays Successful for Kids on the Autism Spectrum
What Do The Holidays Mean To People With Disabilities?
Home for the holidays: Ways to make sure your autistic child enjoys their break
